One does not lose anything by not engaging with it. Social media is full of triggering material, and it's a collective waste of time. Porn is self abuse, it is denigrating for both those who make it and those who watch it, it depresses the spirit and makes a man less of a person for watching it. It is possible to live without sex and still be happy. Men are not entitled to sex and it's not vital for one's life. Get in contact with nature, deal with wet dreams, exercise, try to lead a healthy lifestyle without porn or masturbation. Practice semen retention and avoid triggering media. If it serves you, use it, if not, discard and ignore. Peterson's 12 rules for life is a coincidence. I know the feeling of feeling lost after a relapse, perhaps this can inspire some of you. I decided to share it with my people at NoFap with the intent it might inspire you to come with a similar list, or if you want to copy a few points and adapt it to yourself, it might be a good idea. I've been reviewing my goals after a relapse and I came up with this list. Sorry to whine (that's what I feel as if I am doing) I asked my STBX how she would feel if she could no longer he her kids every day. What's the point of getting it done, now? There's nothing but loneliness down the road. Like I tell my kids when they complain about their schoolwork. I tell myself that I have to shut up and do what needs to be done. My STBX said she doesn't understand how I am making through mentally. I'm going to a place where I'll be all by myself, typing on my keyboard each day. What's the point? I am fortunate enough to have a good job which allows me to work from home. I just don't see any point going forward. I just finished Jordan Peterson's "12 Rules for Life" (Audiobook) and recall the rule which advises one to get their house in order. She has been great as my only support system. I don't want to pile this on to her stress load.
She's had two strokes during the last six months. My mom lives out of state and is up in years. My closest friend is so COVID-scared he won't leave the house. I try to eat right and exercise daily, though I have been doing lots of stress eating lately.
This part has been one of the most darkest in my life. Now, in the next two weeks, I have to disassemble nearly twenty years of life. At the end of this month, I am set to close on a place of my own. Next month, we would have been married twenty years.
We have two kids who know what is going on and seem have had little effect from it. Due to financial constraints, the STBX and are have been forced to co-habitate since the whole process started nearly eight months ago. We're legally separated, with the actual divorce not too far on the horizon.
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